Who are you
Did you know that your identity emerges from the habits you consistently do. You are not born with a present belief system, every belief you have is learned over time or conditioned through your experiences.
This means:
YOU ARE HOW YOU EMBODY YOUR IDENTITY.
Why is this important you might ask?
Because, the ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity.
Its one thing to say " I want this", Its something very different to say "I am the type of person who is this". The more pride you have in a specific aspect's of your identity, the more motivated you become to maintain the habit that is associated with that said behaviour.
In simpler terms:
If your proud of your biceps you will be less likely to skip training your biceps, or if your proud of your house you will be more likely to keep it neat and tidy and put more effort into improving it.
Anyone can convince themselves to go to the gym or eat healthy once or twice a week, but if you don't shift the belief behind the behaviour, then you will be unlikely to have long term sustained changes. Tiny changes are only temporary until they become part of you.
- The goal is not to run a marathon, but to become a runner.
- The goal is not to learn an instrument but to become a musician.
- The goal is not to paint a picture, but to become an artist.
This is all important because your behaviours are usually a reflection of your identity. People who blame other people and or reasons on their ever growing problems or unhappiness are usually the problem themselves. They lack the ability to look inwards and self-reflect, or maybe they just don't want to admit that what there doing and their current attitude IS THE PROBLEM.
Research shows that a person who believes in a particular aspect of their identity, they are more likely to align and continue the behaviours with that associated belief. Identity change is a powerful force when it comes to self-improvement.
Whatever your identity is now, you believe it because you have proof of it. If you go to the gym consistently even when its raining and freezing cold outside you have proof that you are committed to your fitness. If you go to mass every Sunday you have evidence that you are a religious person, if you read a lot of books you have evidence that you are trying to increase your knowledge. Likewise, if you go out every weekend or eat takeaway 3-4 times per week, you have the identity that self improvement and health is not your current priority. The more evidence you have for a belief, the more strongly you will be committed to that belief.
Your habits are not the only actions that influence your identity, but by virtue they are certainly the most important and valuable.
Imagine if you cooked one meal a week, it would be hard to identify as a chef, or if you kicked a football once in a blue moon you would hardly call yourself a footballer. The habits have to be stacked and repeated for your identity to shift towards the habit your instilling.
The process of habit building is actually the process of becoming yourself. And we don't and can't do it by snapping our fingers or occasionally doing the habit you're trying to make permanent.
The most practical way to change who you are is to change what you are doing.
Each positive habit will not only get you results but also teaches you something far more important "to trust yourself". You start to believe, "I can actually accomplish things".
People who say they are "too busy" to exercise consistently, I bet the majority are still in bed at 6 or 7am. So the issue is not time its is the obstacles you are placing in your way, and your identifying as someone who is too busy for self-improvement. (This was a bit off topic and i have no idea why haha).
If you keep casting the same votes you've always Casted, you're going to get the same results you've always got "ZERO".
- Decide the type of person you want to be.
- Prove it to yourself with small wins.
What do you stand for? What are you're principles? What are you're values? Who do you wish to become? Now reverse engineer you're behaviours from these questions. What small habits can i implement each day to get me closer to who i want to be.
Once you know who you want to be you can begin taking small steps to reinforce that identity. A person who wants to lose 40kg might as themselves, what would a healthy person do in my situation? order a taxi? or get up earlier and walk? order the full Irish? Or order an omelette instead?. Think about it, if you act like a healthy person for long enough guess what happens. Yes, you will eventually become a healthier person. This concept is like feedback loops, you're habits shape your identity and your identity shapes your habits.
With January fast approaching i think this email is coming at the perfect time, do the work on yourself now and go into January already with a solid plan and a good idea of who you want to become and how you are going to do it.